“My daughter Sarah was the soul of the party. She was very funny and loved dancing. As the eldest of my three children, Sarah liked sorting things out and tried to care for everyone around her. She lived in a bungalow in Borehamwood with her dog, Tucker, and worked as a housing manager for the Jewish Blind & Disabled.
Sarah suffered from Crohn’s disease, so I was her carer for five years. I’d go to her home every day and she’d come to Watford at weekends for Sunday lunch with the family. We thought her illness was only Crohn’s, but then she went to hospital with a bad stomach and was given an endoscopy. After the tests, they took us into a room and said she had stomach cancer, stage four. Sarah was forty. We were told she’d only be here for three or four weeks.
It was a big shock, but Sarah said, ‘No matter what, it will be all right.’ She was very sensitive and didn’t like worrying anybody.
The next day, Sarah arrived at the Inpatient Unit at The Hospice of St Francis. We had a big room to ourselves, and all the staff came in and introduced themselves. They immediately gave Sarah pain relief – it was all about making her as comfortable as possible. The staff were lovely and offered to make up one of the beds for me. For the next three weeks, I stayed with Sarah every day and night. As long as I was there with her, Sarah was happy.
The nurses had asked Sarah about what she liked and she’d mentioned her love of horses. The next day, they arranged for a handsome white horse to come to Sarah’s room. They wheeled her bed over and the horse’s head came in the door. Sarah put her hand up to stroke its nose. I couldn’t believe they did that – it was just beautiful and so thoughtful.
Sarah was very close with her brother and sister so we arranged sleepovers and had food brought in. Sarah listened to her favourite music and we put “Below Deck” on TV. The nurses gave us space to be together, but they were always popping in and out to make sure we were fine. I’m quite a stressy person, but I wasn’t stressed at all. I felt I was doing my part as a mother and they were doing their part as nurses and carers. I always had somebody to talk to – I never felt alone. I could talk to the staff even though I’m not really a talker about sad things.
In the last weeks of her life, Sarah was happy at the Hospice. She was being cared for in the best possible way. They even gave her a proper pamper afternoon, transforming her bathroom with a jacuzzi and candles and massaging her legs. On the last day of Sarah’s life, they brought the white horse back – and when it left the room was when she passed.
I cannot thank The Hospice of St Francis enough. I couldn’t have managed my daughter’s pain at home on my own. When Sarah was short on time, she didn’t have to worry. She knew that being in the Hospice meant she would get the proper care, and they made her final days so special.
The Hospice took care of our whole family every step of the way so I’m asking you to please support them today. Our communities and our families need the Hospice. If they hadn’t been there for us, I can’t imagine what that time might have felt like.”
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